Do Not Buy This Book
It was hell finding a publisher for this book. I wrote this before searching for a publisher, so how could I write that? No one can see the future. Let's just say I played the odds. The odds were that I would not get too many publishers interested in a book that actively discourages buyers from buying. This is why I don't play table games in a casino, or play the slots. I sometimes play poker, which is against fellow humans. But this message ("you don't need this book") is part of my message. It may be the main message.
I love holding two (or more) seemingly contradictory thoughts or positions simultaneously. There's a word for that I'm sure and I'd love to have used it right now but this is the first draft and I'll do research later. It is, by some "expert's opinion", a defining characteristic of being human. Welcome to humanity.
No need to be verbose here and string this out, so I'll cut to the chase and to the point.
But what does that mean? That leaves things open to lots of interpretation. Ok, list time.
Don't buy this book if:
- You have trouble internalizing what you read
- You are an habitual consumer of advice and have trouble making lasting change for the better stick
- You firmly believe that answers to your "problems" are outside yourself
- You tend to undervalue wisdom and overvalue criticism
- You are alarmingly self aware and live my a solid and well-defined personally crafted code
- You want to spite me and know you qualify for one of the above yet still lean towards buying this book
My goal is for you to end up, after reading this book, knowing that you don't need this book, or anything, really, to be whole and complete just as you are.
There.
So why are you still reading this chapter? Logically, it is because you are still looking for that "something" that will jolt you into action around some area of your life, but it may be that the above list wasn't expansive enough for you to see yourself in this list, so, because you're still here and you likely shouldn't be, I will expand.
Keep in mind that my goal is that you do not buy this book. I can hear my publisher getting angry on the other side of the country. It's that loud. How can I make it even louder? Let's see...oh, yes...also tell ALL your friends to read chapter one for free and also not buy this book. Or read it all free online at opensourcebs.com.
Also, remember, that this is the first draft and I have no publisher yet. Wouldn't it be funny if this never saw the light of day? It would be, right!? If you're reading this, note the publishing company. Don't respect them. They don't feel you're intelligent enough to put the book down even after all my warnings. They think this book will sell which means, if you think about it, they don't respect humanity's intelligence or ability to stick the landing. These are the same vein of people that work hard to determine which shade of red in a brand brings forth the right balance of shame, lust, and desire to create that purchasing impulse.
Yeah. That should insure I don't get published and you don't read this claptrap of a SHITSTORM.
The Expansion of the List
You have trouble internalizing what you read.
Why do you read? Many read to learn and then internalize that learning. They move concept and thought to action and habit. They move the needle. They change and grow.
Some read to distract. The real work to be done is not on the written page but in the internal world. Healing needs to occur first. Parts of you need to be witnessed and deeply heard but here you are, taking in another self help book and turning away from yourself, the true source of and block to wisdom.
These are the bookends on the spectrum of readers. You likely fall somewhere in between, as most of us do.
How do you know which one of the two types above you are most like or where you fall between them? When it comes to personal growth and development, how is your track record with moving the needle? If it isn't great you are likely more the distracted learner. Until you get in touch with that part of you that you've ignored for so long, it will sabotage your learning. There is a chapter in this book about witnessing self and listening to self (coincidentally, titled "About Witnessing Self and Listening to Self" - note the change in capitalization) so that you are more able to integrate learning, but, are you ready to actually internalize that? (note to self: before publishing, rename chapter 5...I mistakenly told everyone the chapter is in THIS book...)
You are an habitual consumer of advice.
You read. You watch. You doom scroll. You subscribe to the idea that where you spend your time equals what you're "learning", but in reality you stimulate that part of the brain that wants a distraction from true "reality". It gets fed all that super yummy and nutritionally vacant distraction "delicacy". Don't get me wrong, it feels so very goooooooood when that part of the brain is fed. So. Much. Dopamine, aka "The Natural Born Pain Killer" (ok, not aka that...that's my play on words)
Reality could be as simple as, "I'm bored. I want to laugh." Often it is much more than that.
At the end of this consumption you find you still have an appetite. You think, "there is more to consume before I truly 'get it'". Stop doing that. Put this book down.
Just consider this: do you want to be on this drug the rest of your life or do you want to cure the dis-ease and live a life free of that kind of dependency. You can watch cute kittens still! Relax! Just not for the same reasons as before, please.
You firmly believe that answers to your "problems" are outside of yourself.
So, here's my one and only truth bomb in this book. Get this in your core and the book will go into someone else's hands, if anyone's at all: The human brain contains the potential for all thoughts it could ever hold. Knowledge is not something added from the outside, but something uncovered through the reconfiguration of neural connections. To think is to trace paths that were always possible; to learn is to connect what was previously unconnected.
That means that the POTENTIAL for any thought is already in your brain. The components exist. The pathway may not yet. The neurons just haven't fired the way they need to fire for you to "get it". You are very likely looking in the wrong direction for wisdom and change. It already exists in you. Each of us has the answer already in us. You have infinitely more potential than you could possibly fathom until you actually get it and see and realize your potential. At that point you don't need this book. But, if you end up buying it, check out the chapter ironically called "More Lies and One More Truth Bomb (last one I promise)". I don't remember which book that chapter is in, but I know now that I have the answer to that already within me.
You tend to undervalue wisdom and overvalue criticism.
This could simply be a defense mechanism your system created to push off change until it becomes SO stressful to not change, changing becomes a relief to your entire system. Do you want a lot of stress or a little stress? You see something you don't agree with and any other wisdom attached to it is tossed out the window with the baby in tow. Don't waste your time. You're bound to read something you don't agree with in any book. This, too, is a book. Put this book down now. I'll wait.
Or, simply learn to accept AND reject as you go, while keeping your mind open. I'll wait again.
You want to spite me and know you qualify for one of the above yet still lean towards buying this book.
I believe in agency so this is the one list item I'm willing to let slide. If you want to spite me, please do so, but promise me that you actively prevent someone else from buying this book in return. Help them see they don't need it or aren't ready to admit they don't need it. Help a brother out.
Or, after buying it, you could loan the book to someone and have them not read chapter one. That way when someone else tells them, "I've got a book you HAVE to read. Go buy it and read chapter one," and it's this book, they've already been primed to put it down and you'll become a hero. On top of that, they can coach their other friend about having completely missed the point of this book if they're recommending it. Anyone asking anyone else to read chapter one of this book is not a true friend. That is only my opinion.
Keep those invested in you staying small very close to you. Go ahead and stay small if that is what you want to do. I'm not here to change you. I'm simply putting words down hoping you see you should put this book down alongside my words. Literally put my words down just as I have. Ok, not JUST as I have because I used two different interpretations of the phrase, "putting words down". You get it, though.
I believe the world heals and becomes that much more like what it could be (peace, community, and love with and for one another) when we are at peace, in community with, and love ourselves. You choose your path. I'll choose mine. Perfect. I'm happy. No, really I am! But my happiness shouldn't matter to you. I'm just a guy writing words. Where's your happiness?
So, in a nutshell, put this book down and truly find every part of yourself that needs to be heard and witnessed first. Witness and hear them. Love them. Understand them, then come back, read chapter one again, and finally realize what I meant when I said,